now i know why i became what i already was.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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