I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
