I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
