Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
nutella sex= disaster
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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