That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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