he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
