the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
