Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
