it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
