no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
