I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well I just put wine in my tea
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
