Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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