false alarm. still invincible.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
