WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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