Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
