If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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