I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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