A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
