he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We are two peas in an std pod
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
