careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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