id be glad to
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
