I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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