I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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