his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
