my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
