my vag is so smooth its legendary
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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