i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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