so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize