HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
