you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize