with your own penis?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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