there's paper in my vomit.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
