We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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