Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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