And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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