I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
