WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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