I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
