how can u be prego again
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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