Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
