do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
