This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
