I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Randomize
