yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
