Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
