Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i barfeds in our rink
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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