Its about making memories worth repressing
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
