1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
