marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
