we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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