i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
