Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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