Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
