If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
