I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
