And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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